Friday, August 27, 2010
Asher LOVES to be outside- even when it is 107 outside, he LOVES it!! Almost every day we will spend at least 30 minutes or so playing in our driveway or garage and try to keep cool with ice and popsicles. When Sonny is available, he will come and hang out with Ash and I in the garage and I get to see over and over again how Asher is JUST like his daddy! I was sitting down in a nice comfy chair enjoying Crystal Light one evening when I just started to laugh to myself. While I was relaxing and being still (which neither my husband or son can do very well =) ), Sonny and Asher were both pacing around the yard finding different things to do. It was so precious! Sonny would walk around the yard checking on the trees and bushes and grass and Ash would follow him around, then go play in the dirt, then go back to following his dad and try to "help" Sonny trim the bushes. It was just such a sweet reminder of how we are created in the image of God. Everything that is good and lovely about us is a reflection of the Lord and His goodness. Just thought that might be an encouragement =)
I have been thinking about this for a while and feeling like I needed to write it but things have been so hectic with me being almost 30 wks pregnant and having a toddler that I am lucky if I can get in a shower and brush my teeth!! =)
I was reading through Exodus and chapter 32 really encouraged me about waiting for the Lord. When Moses went up to meet with God the people got impatient and would not wait for Moses to get back. They wanted answers NOW and something tangible to worship NOW (which is why they made the golden calf). I see that I am very often just like the Israelites- pregnancy is one of the biggest examples. I am just having the hardest time waiting to have Zoee here but I know that there are so many reasons that she is not here just yet. I am learning to just wait and try to soak in this time that I have left with just Sonny and Asher. I know that Zoee will bring so much joy to our family but the fact is that she will change the dynamic. Ash will not be an only child and Sonny and I will have to work even harder to make sure that we get to spend quality time together. I am just really trying to slow down and not be in a rush- to wait for the Lord's timing for Zoee's arrival and to wait for His timing in all other things.
I just want to say that my wonderful friend Lindsay (and her husband Landon) has encouraged me so much in her waiting on the Lord. I have learned from both of them about just taking time to listen for the Lord to lead and to even ask friends to be "waiting and listening" on your behalf. I really feel like they represent the opposite of Israel's response in Exodus 32. Instead of feeling mad or anxious that the Lord was/is not doing things exactly how they had planned and trying to figure out a way to get what they want anyways- they are being spending time in prayer as a couple and with friends about what the Lord might have for them. What a wonderful example for me and so many others.
Just wanting to encourage anyone who feels like God is taking a while to hang in there. He loves His children and really is doing what is best for us. Sometimes it might take a while for us to see why He does things the way He does but let's not get anxious and try to conjure something up on our own. Wait. Spend time in prayer and ask friends to be in prayer for you. Rest with the Lord and continue to seek Him.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A couple of months ago when Sonny and I decided that I would be a stay at home mom next year, I started questioning what my purpose for this next season was. In every season before this, I do not feel that I really questioned my purpose... when I became Sonny's wife, I knew that my purpose was to love and honor him.... when I managed the Richmond Coffee Station, I knew my purpose was to serve the customers with joy, honor my boss, and be a godly example to my employees. When I became a teacher at Rosehill, I knew my purpose was to exemplify Christ to my students and be a diligent, fair, trustworthy teacher and employee. I do not really know why I now have been questioning my purpose. Maybe it is because the person that takes up the bulk of my time during the day is a 14 month old who cannot really communicate. I do not really have a gauge to see how I am doing at discipling my son. I often wonder if I am doing all that the Lord is calling me to do to raise Asher to know and love Jesus.
As I was reading through 1 and 2 Kings, something really stuck out to me. Often, when giving the legacy of a King of Israel or Judah, the word would follow or preface his legacy with these words, "and his mother's name was..." When I first noticed this I did not think much of it but the more I read through these two books, the more the Lord started to stir that phrase within me. I always recognized that a son's father was listed when genealogies were being told, but I had never really noticed the moms being thrown in with them. Right after or right before telling if a king was godly or corrupt, the Lord makes mention of his mother's name.
"...Hezekiah the son of Ahaz, king of Judah, began to reign... his mother's name was Abi the daughter of Zechariah. And he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that his father David had done." (2 Kings 18:1-3)
I still do not know all of the details of what motherhood entails in the Lord's eyes but I think there is more to it than we think. I have felt the Lord telling me that during this season I am supposed to offer structure, love, and discipline to my son. I am learning that my job now is more of walking in the Spirit than anything (it has always been that, but now it seems much more pressing). I cannot really "teach" Asher the word like I teach the girls in the student ministry. I do read the word often to him but I feel that more than anything, I am called now to be living out the word of God. Ash needs to see that I am slow to anger and quick to listen. He needs to see that I try to rejoice always and pray without ceasing. In some ways, this season is much harder than any others I have been in before. It is much easier to put together a bible study lesson on purity than it is to walk daily in the joy of Christ, serving others first. I know that this season has been one of refinement and revelation of how selfish I can be, but it is refreshing to know that the Lord does take notice of our diligence in serving him. These mothers were listed in their sons legacies- I sure hope and pray that my son will see Christ daily in me and will have a legacy like king Hezekiah's.
Monday, August 2, 2010
I always knew that having children would refine us and teach us more about the Lord, but I am often amazed at the small lessons that the Lord teaches us through Asher...
Asher is a normal 14 month old and is constantly on the go. He rarely sits still. When he is awake, he is constantly running around the house or moving from toy to toy. Sonny was telling me today about how God was using this in his life. There are times when all that Sonny and I want to do is hold our little boy and tell him that we love him and are proud of him. How do you do that when your son is never sitting still? Asher is getting better at sitting every once in a while but whenever his daddy comes around- he gets into "play mode" and wants to play chase or cars or hide-and-seek. While those are great games, the heart of Sonny as his father is to sometimes just sit and hold Asher and let him know that he is loved by his dad.
How often are we like this with our Father? We get so busy with life that we never really just sit in the presence of the Lord and let Him love on us. Even if we are diligent in reading the Word, how often do we just read and run... never letting the Lord speak to us as we sit and meditate on His word? I know that I am super guilty of this. I often think to myself, "okay, I have 15 minutes until Asher should be waking up... I need to read the word and pray... and I need to hurry." Is that really what the Lord wants from us? I do not think that this is what He is wanting. He wants a relationship with us where we delight in Him and enjoy being His children just as Sonny is longing for the day when Ash will sit still and just be loved on by his father. I know that this day will come as Asher matures but for now we must try and get our little moments with him when we can.
I hope this encourages you today to sit in the presence of Jesus and just delight in him. Let's not hurry through the day but make sure that we are really enjoying our Lord.
"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah."