Dear Asher...

Dear Asher,
I have to write fast because these days it is hard to tell if you and Zoee will sleep for thirty minutes or three hours!! I just had to write to tell you some new things going on in your little 20 month old life. You are so, so wonderful. I know many parents say that about their kids but we really do think that about you. Daddy and I were talking last night about you because you had done something so sweet and Daddy said (I am paraphrasing) "He (Asher) was definitely a tough baby and put us through so much but he is such a joy now..." We talk about that so much, Asher. Here is some things we want you to know about this season in your life.
~ You are a joy.
~ You love to please Mommy and Daddy.
~ You are SO obedient (you have your struggles every once in a while but not often and you crumble emotionally when you get into trouble).
~ You LOVE Zoee- you kiss her probably 5 times a day.
~ You love to "help" Mommy around the house. You "help" load and take out the trash. You "help" me sweep the kitchen and vacuum. You "help" me with laundry (you love jumping in the pile of clean clothes and slobbering all over them).
~ You love to bring Daddy "breakfast in bed." You are an early riser sometimes and when you get up before Daddy you will bring him part of your breakfast. We still find crumbs in our bed from days before.
~ You have a little bit of OCD like Mommy and Papa. You cannot stand when things are out of place. This makes you very good at "clean up" because you make sure every block is in its place.
~ You love animals, cars, trucks, trash, colors, dancing (especially Michael Jackson)
~ You have wonderful friends. You love Aeva, Brooks & Ian from Mother's Day Out, CJ and Noami from church, and ALL of our friends. You think guys are cooler than girls and you love sharing your toys with any people that we have over.

We went to the zoo today with you for the first time and we had a blast. You loved all of the animals but you loved the petting zoo the best! You were not scared at all! Zoee did great at the zoo too, though she did not really care so much for the animals- she just liked being held =).

Here are a few of your favorite words (besides Dada and Momma):
1. "t-r-a-s-h" followed by "tiki-tiki" (stinky-stinky)
2. "Yo-yo" (Zoee)
3. "car-ki-ki" (car carrier)
4. "big truck"
5. "bull-doe-doe" (bulldozer)
6. "tractor"
7. "odo" (yogurt)
8. turtle
9. roaster
10. monkey
11. "he-ca-ca" (helicopter)
12. "mama's caa-caa" (mommy's coffee)
13. "hot choc-cate" (hot chocolate)
... and much more!! You LOVE to talk!

Asher, we really do LOVE this season with you. The other day you knocked a flower arrangement over in Zoee's room and I did not have time to clean it up. I went back in her room a few minutes later and found you trying to clean it up after I had gotten on to you for making that mess. It was so precious to see that you were trying to help clean up that mess. It melts my heart to see how kind you are and how you love to be a good son to Daddy and me. You make us smile every day and we cannot give you enough kisses. We are so thankful for you.

Love,
Mommy

Zo-zo Joy!

Here is little Zoee before another outfit change due to spit up... She is really a joyful girl most of the time. We are still praying that she will stop spitting up! We sure love her!

A reminder for me not to complain...

Life can be tough sometimes for a mom of two small children... or so I thought. Lately, our life in the Howard household has been a little more hectic than "normal" and I started to get "fussy" about that. Yes, fussy is the nicest way to describe my attitude lately. My poor husband and children. I feel like I have been in survival mode the last few weeks just trying to keep up with all the laundry from a little girl with reflux and a toddler who likes to literally "eat on the run." When I look back on every day, I can see that so much of my time is spent cleaning... either the house or clothes or the kids! I have been throwing pitty-parties for myself and have had a few meltdowns in the past couple of days but in the midst of all that, the Lord is still trying to teach and grow me. Here are the two things that I feel like he showed me when I gave in to whining...

1. Thank the Lord for washing machines! My dear friend and mentor, Mrs. Burke, was kindly listening to me vent about how tough it has been with Zoee and her continual spit-up. She told me that she would still be praying for me and the kids but in the midst of our conversation she mentioned to me that her mom did not have a washing machine when she had little ones. I know this should not have been a surprise since washing machines are relatively new but it made me think. Can you imagine doing laundry on one of those wash-boards. Can you imagine doing that outdoors when it is freezing... or snowing...? Can you imagine doing that constantly with a child who spits up as much as mine do? Wow... how humbling. When Zoee spits up all I have to do is take off the outfit, wipe her off, put on another outfit, then throw the yucky one into a great big machine that does all of the work for me. I never have to step outside to brave the weather and I do not have to spend hours getting out every stain from the outfits. I am so thankful for my washing machine (and my dryer too).

2. Praise the Lord that we live in America today. I know a lot of us get upset with our government at times and the injustice that we feel is being brought against us. While all of that is so true, it could be so much worse. I am reading through Esther and something caught my eye this morning...

Esther 2:17
"The king loved Esther more than all the other women, and she obtained grace and favor in his sight more than all the virgins; so he set a royal crown upon her head and made her queen instead of Vashti."

Most of the time when we read through Esther, we focus on her... and rightly so. But today the Lord made me think of the "other women" that the king did not choose. From what I have read and been taught- once the kings slept with you, you were committed to his harem for the rest of your life and were never allowed to marry or have your own family. Even if the king happened to choose you again, you were probably not allowed to have children (I'm thinking that only the queen would have been allowed to carry his children to full term). Can you imagine? You are a young girl with your whole life ahead of you... then you get taken from your home and "groomed" for the king for at least a year (each women went through a year's worth of bodily preparation for the king... Esther 2:12), then you would sleep with him for one night... then you would be taken to a home for other girls like you and you would live there, away from all of your family, for the rest of your life. You would never marry your dream man... you would never have your own children... you might never see your mom and dad and siblings ever again (if the kings said no... the answer was no). This is so humbling to someone whose biggest problem is that their daughter can't show off her cute outfits because she is always wearing a bib. I am so thankful for the Lord showing me this and I honestly hope that I will soberly remember this lesson when I am tempted to complain.

I hope that today we can all live out Psalm 100:4-5 today:
"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, and His truth endures to all generations."

~Casi

More of Asher... naming animals and sounds =)

Here is more of little man... reading about animals and their sounds! Sorry if this seems boring and redundant to everyone- we just want to have all of this documented for him when he gets bigger!

Asher reading...

Asher is getting so big and he LOVES to talk now. He talks all the time. Some awesome friends of ours, The Burke's, watched Asher last night while Sonny, Zoee and I went to a rehearsal dinner. When we got there to pick him up at 9pm, he was still playing cars (there were literally hundreds of cars to play with) and he was reciting everyone's names... over and over and over. Of course he liked the guys better because he is 100% boy and he loves hanging out with the guys! Thank you Uncle Kevin, Nana, Jake, Kristen, & Rope for watching Ash for us! All this to say, I wanted to document Asher's growing vocabulary! Please excuse the crazy hair and messy face- that's the life of a toddler! He got a little distracted when he saw himself on the computer but overall he did great! Sonny and I LOVE this age- it is a blast!

The perfect timing...

I had been thinking about this small lesson from the Lord a while ago and I never made the time to sit down and write about it so I guess now is as good of time as any. Our small group on Tuesday nights started reading through the book of Genesis and that's what reminded me about this lesson on God's timing.

We read last week about the ark and Noah's family. Usually when you read these chapters in Genesis you can learn a lot from Noah and his faith and obedience to the Lord. While those are great lessons, something new stuck out to me a few months ago when I was reading Genesis. If you read closely it says that once the flood had subsided THEN God said to Noah's sons "be fruitful and multiply" and their family line continued (Genesis 9:1). This is a small but very interesting statement. We have no idea when all of Noah's sons got married. They could have been married for years before the flood or maybe just a few months. What stands out is that none of the wives got pregnant or had a child before the waters of the flood had subsided. I wonder if any of those three women were worried about why they were not getting pregnant? Looking back, we can see how perfect God's timing was for those women. Can you imagine being pregnant and never being able to leave a ship? Can you imagine morning sickness in addition to the nausea from being tossed by waves. Or imagine if Noah's sons had younger children before the flood? Can you imagine having a toddler aboard the ark? When looking back we can see that the Lord withheld pregnancy from these three ladies because it was BETTER for them not to be pregnant and have children at that time. I just know that if I was one of those wives I would have wondered... "God, why am I not getting pregnant? Did I do something wrong?" and it was simply because He was looking out for them. There are so many times in my life where I have not understood why the Lord was "taking so long" or why it seemed like He was withholding something from me just to be mean. We cannot think this way. The Lord's wisdom is so far beyond our comprehension. We must trust the He knows WHAT is best for us and WHEN it is best for us to have certain things. I am just so thankful that He is reminding me of this. I need to always make my requests and heart known to Him but after that I must trust that His answer really is the best thing for me.

A small wilderness...

Before I begin this one, I would like to preface this blog with the fact that I KNOW the Lord has been very, very kind to me. He has given me gifts beyond my wildest dreams. My husband is absolutely incredible. He is not only godly and encouraging but he is also extremely handsome and romantic... he is everything I could have asked for and so much more. My children are, for the most part, absolutely incredible too! Yes, we have our hard days, but they are such a wonderful gift to Sonny and I. We went through 5 miscarriages before getting pregnant with Asher and discovering that if I was going to carry full-term I would need progesterone supplements. Then came Zoee- sweet surprise but totally amazing.

Okay, now to what I feel called to write about. Last night Sonny taught the students about Deuteronomy 8. He taught them about remembering the Lord's deliverance through the wilderness. The Lord had led Israel from slavery in Egypt to the promised land but in doing this He took Israel through a desert for 40 years where He sustained them completely. We, as the children of God, will most likely go through more than one season in life that can seem like huge (or even small) "deserts."

Yesterday (and the past few days) was one such time for me. I know it might seem small but Zoee is going through a phase where she only wants me to hold her and she wants to be held A LOT. DOn't get me wrong, I love holding my daughter but it IS nice to have a break and have someone else hold her from time to time. Anyways, these past 2 weeks at church have been very rough on anyone trying to hold Zoee. My wonderful friend, Mrs. Burke, has been the one holding Zoee for me almost every Wednesday (if she isn't holding her, her incredible daughter Kaitlyn, is =) ). Last night and the week before, Zoee screamed at the top of her lungs for a long time when anyone other than me was holding her. This was so frustrating to me. I started getting stressed out, not for Zoee's sake because I know that crying is not bad for her, but for the sake of those that were holding her. I want my little girl to bring joy to others- not stress! I don't want her to make people sad or angry- I want her smile to light up the room like it does at home. So, I was just really having a tough time in my heart dealing with the fact that she was being so cranky. Then, after Sonny taught and while I was worshiping, God made this verse stick out to me:

Deuteronomy 8:2 "You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not."

I felt like God was saying... "I am trying to humble you again... you sometimes think you can do this mom/wife thing on your own and I want to gently remind you that you need Me. Come back to me with your whole heart... with all of your weariness and I will give you rest. I will strengthen you and sustain you like I did Israel."

It was so sweet to know that the Lord was calling me back. Two other verses that came to my mind during this time were:

Joel 2:13 "And rend your hearts and not your garments.' Now return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness..."

and

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

I hope to encourage you all that when you are going through seasons, even very small ones, where you feel dry and weary- remember that the Lord will often take you through those to humble you and keep you dependent on Him. We are so quick to try to "do life" on our own and He is so loving to let us go through tough times to keep us needy for Him. Let's keep coming to Him- as often as we can- for He gives us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness.