A small wilderness...

Before I begin this one, I would like to preface this blog with the fact that I KNOW the Lord has been very, very kind to me. He has given me gifts beyond my wildest dreams. My husband is absolutely incredible. He is not only godly and encouraging but he is also extremely handsome and romantic... he is everything I could have asked for and so much more. My children are, for the most part, absolutely incredible too! Yes, we have our hard days, but they are such a wonderful gift to Sonny and I. We went through 5 miscarriages before getting pregnant with Asher and discovering that if I was going to carry full-term I would need progesterone supplements. Then came Zoee- sweet surprise but totally amazing.

Okay, now to what I feel called to write about. Last night Sonny taught the students about Deuteronomy 8. He taught them about remembering the Lord's deliverance through the wilderness. The Lord had led Israel from slavery in Egypt to the promised land but in doing this He took Israel through a desert for 40 years where He sustained them completely. We, as the children of God, will most likely go through more than one season in life that can seem like huge (or even small) "deserts."

Yesterday (and the past few days) was one such time for me. I know it might seem small but Zoee is going through a phase where she only wants me to hold her and she wants to be held A LOT. DOn't get me wrong, I love holding my daughter but it IS nice to have a break and have someone else hold her from time to time. Anyways, these past 2 weeks at church have been very rough on anyone trying to hold Zoee. My wonderful friend, Mrs. Burke, has been the one holding Zoee for me almost every Wednesday (if she isn't holding her, her incredible daughter Kaitlyn, is =) ). Last night and the week before, Zoee screamed at the top of her lungs for a long time when anyone other than me was holding her. This was so frustrating to me. I started getting stressed out, not for Zoee's sake because I know that crying is not bad for her, but for the sake of those that were holding her. I want my little girl to bring joy to others- not stress! I don't want her to make people sad or angry- I want her smile to light up the room like it does at home. So, I was just really having a tough time in my heart dealing with the fact that she was being so cranky. Then, after Sonny taught and while I was worshiping, God made this verse stick out to me:

Deuteronomy 8:2 "You shall remember all the way which the Lord your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not."

I felt like God was saying... "I am trying to humble you again... you sometimes think you can do this mom/wife thing on your own and I want to gently remind you that you need Me. Come back to me with your whole heart... with all of your weariness and I will give you rest. I will strengthen you and sustain you like I did Israel."

It was so sweet to know that the Lord was calling me back. Two other verses that came to my mind during this time were:

Joel 2:13 "And rend your hearts and not your garments.' Now return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness..."

and

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

I hope to encourage you all that when you are going through seasons, even very small ones, where you feel dry and weary- remember that the Lord will often take you through those to humble you and keep you dependent on Him. We are so quick to try to "do life" on our own and He is so loving to let us go through tough times to keep us needy for Him. Let's keep coming to Him- as often as we can- for He gives us EVERYTHING we need for life and godliness.