When we entered parenthood I feel like we entered a whole new arena of sanctification. When you become a parent, it becomes very clear to you how easy it is to be selfish and prideful yet there are so many new opportunities to grow in humility and selflessness. At first, the Lord gives you this precious newborn who is so small and fragile that you cannot help but love it. A few days after giving birth, you realize that you are pretty much on your own (as a couple) to raise this little human for the glory of Jesus! Wow! What a huge blessing BUT huge responsibility. The newborn stage can be pretty tough sometimes because at first children do not really "give back" much. They just cry and pee and eat... they don't really even smile that much. Once they start to smile and "talk" a little and giggle, you start to see that this really is a little person that you have been given to raise. My latest conviction comes a little bit from that reality...
I have been reading through 1 Corinthians lately and just the other day the Lord convicted and encouraged me so much in my perspective on parenting. 1 Corinthians 3:5-8 is usually used by church leaders to remind themselves that we are all working for the building up of the same kingdom. For us to find pride in being of one certain denomination or even one specific church is not what Paul (and the Lord) want. We should not become arrogant in following a certain leader or being part of the newest Christian movement. Our security and pride should come in us belonging to Christ. People are just vessels used by the Lord; He causes the growth.
While this is true for church leaders, this truth ministered to me in such a new way this past week as a mom. I am just an empty vessel for the Lord. I do not cause my children to grow... the Lord does. I am called to do my part to "plant" and "water" and give them the necessary tools so that the Lord can show Himself to them but I cannot change their hearts. With this being true, I was convicted again about not finding my identity in my children. If they know tons of bible verses or can spout out cute prayers- this should not puff me up and make me feel secure in my parenting. Christ is my security... finding my identity in anything else will leave me unsatisfied. If I live my life trying to see fruit in my children that I think I have "made," I know that I will make them feel burdened and enslaved to my ideas of what their lives should look like. I will find myself disappointed at times when I don't feel like they measure up to my standards and prideful at other times when I feel like they are making my parenting look good. I know this is not God's heart for mothers (or fathers). Again, the identity of a mother still needs to be found in Christ. We are His workers, called to minister to our husbands and children with all of the strength that He gives. We must remember, though, that ultimately He is the one that grows and saves our children.
This truth was so humbling yet freeing for me. It also reminded me of the importance of praying diligently for my children. Their salvation is not in my hands. The way they live and the way they will live in the future is not in my hands. I must continually be seeking the mercy of God on their behalf. This is where the real power comes. We can work tirelessly to shove every bible verse into the minds of our children but only the power of the Lord can change their hearts. I pray that He would draw my little children close to Him and reveal His glory and power to them at a vey young age. I pray that He would allow them to love Him with all of their hearts and souls. Only Jesus can do this.
"Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave to each other? I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters but God who gives the increase."
1 Corinthians 3:5-7
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