I feel like there are days in my life where I do not feel like I learn a whole lot of great lessons from the Lord- I am just usually trying to love and disciple my kids with the strength that only the He can give me- but then there are some days where I wish I had a recorder with me so I could write down all the lessons/growth areas that I feel like the Lord is showing me. This past Wednesday was one of those days... Here are two things that I want to remember...
1. Never leave a time of worship early (unless God has made it very clear that you should). I had taken both of my kiddos to our Life worship service on Wednesday night. Usually Ash will go visit the Thompson family and he has a blast but I could tell he was fighting a cold so I thought it best that he stay with me and not chance getting their kids sick. Well, it was a little crazy having two babies at a worship service and I was about to leave early and one of my great friends was used by God to stop me =) (I love when God does that). Kaitlyn was holding Zoee for me and I was about to take her and load her in the carseat when Kaitlyn said, "are you sure you don't want to worship? I've got her and she's asleep... Ash is asleep too..." I felt like the Lord was saying through her... "Hey, the kids are fine. Spend time with Me. Love Me. Let Me tell you that I love you and am here for you in this tougher season." Thankfully, I stayed. It was great. Sonny had a great worship set for us... it was such a sweet time for me and Jesus... I left feeling broken, refreshed and loved all at once. I am going to always try to stay until the end of great worship services... even if the kids are a little nuts!
2. This lesson might only make sense to me but that's fine. Having a daughter with reflux has really been challenging as I have said many times. I felt like Wednesday God revealed some sin in my life regarding my kids. It is often easy for parents to "live through their kids" or find their identity in their kids. I feel like I might have been struggling with that. As a mom, I love when people tell me how great Ash is. Part of that might be okay but I think I was getting prideful and the Lord needed to kill that in me. I cannot find my identity in the kids. Having a spit up baby has been used by God to show me that pride. No one (besides the wonderful Burke family and a few others) wants to hold a baby who is going to drench them in spit-up! I feel like God wanted to make sure that I wasn't using Zoee to boost my ego. I NEVER want my daughter to feel like I am using her to feel better about myself. I want to find all of my identity in Christ and out of an overflow of my love for the Lord I want to love Zoee. I hope this makes sense. I just feel like its easy for us to get prideful when people think that we, our spouses, or our kids are great (at least it is for me)., I am thankful that the Lord showed me this and I really want to the Lord to continue humbling me... even if it means more spit-up from my little sweet baby girl! =)
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