Needing help...

Alright, this picture is not exactly the picture that best represents what the Lord has been teaching me lately but it is so cute so I will try to make it work...

Since having Zoee, I have been trying so hard to still spend a good amount of time loving the Lord through reading His word and prayer. Sometimes He will just give me great times of prayer when I am rocking her and listening to music... it has been such a blessing because I know that I need time with Him if I am going to be a good wife and mom and daughter to the Lord.

I have been reading through the book of Acts lately and there is something that has really been popping out to me as I have read it. Just seeing how much the disciples strengthened and encouraged one another is amazing to me. Acts often says that the body of Christ met constantly together to hear the word taught, to sing praises, to help one another out, and even just to eat and have fellowship together. I really think this is something that the American church is lacking but one area where I feel so blessed by God in our community up here. I LOVE the fellowship that I have with the girls in our student ministry and the love that our congregation has for one another.

When a woman at our church has a new baby (or if anyone in the church has a major surgery) they are put on the meal list for about 2 weeks where their family receives home-cooked meals almost every day. This was such a blessing to our family. I just felt so shower with love from the body of Christ in this way. It was so neat to have my family provided for in a time where I really did not have the energy to make them a nice meal. I really feel like this is what the Lord meant by the body of Christ loving and serving one another. I am excited to be a part of the meals ministry when other ladies in our church start having their babies!!

Another way I feel so blessed is by the girls in our student ministry. I LOVE having them over every Sunday night. I had to miss a few weeks after Zoee was born and it was just so sad not to get to see them. We have been back on for the past two Sunday evenings and though it has been a little hectic with me having 2 kids in the house- it has been so wonderful to fellowship with these sisters of mine. I LOVE hearing how the girls are growing in the Lord. I am always encouraged and convicted by the things that the Lord is doing in their lives. I love that the girls get to come to our home and help me with the kids. They all love on Asher so much and are starting to do the same with Zoee. This is how the church should be- at least that's what I get from Acts. The people in Acts did not just go to church once a week and see each other for an hour- they did life together. That's what I feel like I have with the girls up here and I love it. I am so thankful to the Lord for our student ministry.

I am constantly amazed by the Lord as He continues to show our family and our church that the body of Christ is more than just a Sunday worship service.

So, how does this line up with this funny picture of Asher? As cute as he looks here, he eventually needed help getting out of the dryer- he could not do it alone!! I had to call Sonny to help him because when he was ready to get out (after lots of time playing in there), I was feeding little Zoee. The body of Christ needs to help one another- to strengthen each other when we are weak and be there for each other just as Sonny was there to help his little guy get out of the dryer!! I know that was a stretch but it was worth a shot... =)

Lessons from Zoee...

Wow!! Having 2 kids under the age of 2yrs old is CRAZY!! Life has been one big blur in the month of November. Sonny and I really wanted to make sure that we are documenting the lessons that we learn from our kids because they are just so precious to us and they teach us so much about our walk with the Lord

Last night before the cold medicine kicked in and knocked us out, Sonny felt like the Lord wanted to teach us something through our little, always-hungry newborn. Sonny told me that he saw a connection between Zoee and the newborn Christian. Just as Zoee has to constantly be eating to grow and become mature, so too should the new Christian (and all Christians for that matter) be feasting on God's word. It is also an interesting time of self sacrifice when you have a newborn. They really do not offer much- they just pretty much take. They require so much giving from their parents and they will really not start to "return" the love until a little later when they can start laughing and eventually saying those awesome words "i love you." This is how it seems to be with us and the Lord. When we first come to Him, all we really do is take. We are (or should be) soaking up His word and gaining nutrition from Him but we really do not start to give back to Him until we have become more mature (at least that is the goal). I can see this so much in my walk. Though in the beginning, though I was trying to give back to the Lord, there are so many things that I did as a new Christian that probably required so much of His patience and grace (just as Zoee at this season requires SO much patience and grace).

1 Peter 2:1-2 says, "Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord."

This is the goal- that we should be longing for the word like little Zoee longs for her milk so that we can grow and become mature in the Lord- able to love Him and please Him as children do their parents. She literally feasts about every two hours- what would our lives look like if we feasted on God's word (even for just 15 minutes) every 2 hours or so?

Alright- the babies should be waking up soon. I am SO surprised that I was able to sit down and write this without either of them waking up!!

Zoee's arrival

I was so hoping and praying that our little girl would be here before her due date. I was honestly feeling pretty yucky as my stomach was HUGE and it was hard to do most normal things.

Well, here is how her arrival story went. I woke up on Wednesday, November 3rd and thought that my water might have broken. I had been feeling contractions for a few weeks but they were getting much stronger but still not consistent. We spent the day just trying to get things done and get ready in case we were going to be heading to the hospital. I had heard from the midwives that I needed to just do as many normal things as possible and not focus on trying to hurry her up- so that's what we did. By late afternoon we were pretty sure things were moving along well so we decided to go ahead and take Asher to my parent's house.

We went to the hospital about 7pm on Wednesday and I was only about 3 cm dilated. So.... we started walking.... and walking... all around St. Luke's hospital- hoping to get things moving. We had heard that the second labor would be easier than the first but unfortunately that did not happen in our case. Asher's labor and Zoee's were both very long and hard for me. I went into "active labor" at about 9pm and at 6:30 the next morning, I was at 9cm and out of energy. We decided to go ahead and get the epidural. Just like with Asher's birth, once the epidural set in, Sonny and I took a nap (yes- that's how powerful the epidural is) and at 7:30 we were woken up by the midwife that delivered Asher, Titi. It was so refreshing to see her (the other midwife that had been with us for most of the labor had to go with another girl to get a c-section). Titi gently said, "okay, nap time is over- let's have a baby!" I only had to push for a few minutes and Zoee was here- at 7:53 am, weighing 9 lbs 15 oz!

Life with 2 kids has been quite an adjustment. Thankfully, we have had TONS of help. Our wonderful friends, Bertha and Kaitlyn Burke, came and spent the night with us to help us with the kids one night and both Sonny's mom and my mom have spent days helping us to adjust to life with the two of them. So far, Zoee has been pretty easy. Asher was a very tough baby- he had reflux really bad and spit up a ton! I prayed often for 4 things regarding Zoee- that she would be peaceful, joyful, a good sleeper, and healthy. So far, the Lord has been kind enough to answer all of those requests. She is a great sleeper but does not like it quiet. For her to sleep we have to have on the TV or music- it's funny!

Asher is doing well adjusting to life with her. He has gotten so much time with Sonny that I do not think he has really noticed Zoee much. He is LOVING his time with Daddy. It has been precious to see how much their relationship has grown since Zoee came.

Sonny and I are doing our best to get rest and still spend time with one another and time with the Lord. It takes a lot more effort to make sure that our down time is well spent but we certainly are learning a lot through all of this.

So far, the main thing that the Lord has been teaching me is to cling fast to Him. I have been reading the Psalms a lot, especially Psalm 119 and I see how much the Lord needs to be my shield, my protector, my everything. When I am weak (and strong) I must still love and seek Him with all of my heart. Saying that I am too busy or tired to seek Him is not okay. Even though life is somewhat chaotic, my pursuit of Christ is worth more than anything. I am so thankful that the Lord is near when we call on Him. =)

We are so thankful for all of the prayers from friends and family. Zoee truly is a joy and blessing.

Moving past the sand...

Asher getting to build sandcastles with daddy and grandma...



Asher enjoying the beach to the fullest!!



Asher loving the waves and the water....



Sonny taking Asher from the trash-can sand to the beach...



Asher's first sand experience at the beach...


A few weekends ago our family got to go on a mini-vacation to Surfside beach with Sonny's parents for their 10th wedding anniversary. It was so beautiful (which is surprising for any beach in Texas) and we even learned another lesson about our relationship with the Lord and what He wants for us.

The beach house that we stayed at was right on the beach but you still had to walk a little to get to the water. We were so excited for Asher to see the beach for the first time and could not wait for his reaction. The funny thing was that right when we got to the start of the sand, which was a good distance away from the water, he did not want to leave. He was so enthralled with the sand that was right in front of him that it took him a little bit to trust Sonny as he wanted to take him to something better. We wanted to show him the whole ocean- with the waves and cool sand and seashells... we did not want him to just stay by the sand that was by the trash cans!! This was such a learning experience. How often are we like that with the Lord. He, as the perfect Father, wants to show us SO much- about Him, about what is really Good, and about what is really worth living for but often we are so stuck in the "sand by the trashcan" that we are not willing to follow Him to something better.

This experience really encouraged us to be more diligent to follow and trust the Lord and not be content with things that we think will satisfy. We need to really be seeking God and what He has for us and be willing to obey Him if He asks us to do something that is out of our comfort zone. It might be a little nerve racking or even frustrating to leave what we are currently being satisfied with to follow the Lord into unknown territory- but we have to know that it is worth it. Just like Israel when they left Egypt for the promised land. They had no actual idea of what the new land would be like.... they just knew that God was calling them to leave Egypt and trust Him for something better.

Asher ended up LOVING the waves and the sand that falls apart in your hand. He had a blast "building" sandcastles with his daddy and grandma. I was so glad that he got to experience that and I cannot even imagine how the Lord feels when we trust Him and He is able to let us experience wonderful things that only He can give.

The Lord told Moses as he was leading the new generation to the promised land:
Deuteronomy 2:2 "And the Lord spoke to me, saying: you have skirted this mountain long enough; turn northward (to take the people to the promised land)..."

The pictures above the post show our beach experience except they are in reverse order and I could not figure out how to change them...

In the image of the Father...

I know that I have posted something similar to this earlier but Sonny and I feel like this was a huge lesson/encouragement to us and I wanted to share. A few weeks ago I took Asher to the doctor for a yucky cold. The nurse manager, who has been a wonderful friend of our family since I was in 3rd grade, said to me, "I am sorry Casi, but he looks just like his dad."

Of course she knew this would not make me the least bit sad since I think Sonny is super handsome, but when I told Sonny this story later in the day, He felt like the Lord really spoke to him. Sonny told me that it made him proud that Asher looked like him. You see, Sonny delights in his son and loves when people notice that Asher is his boy. Sonny realized that the Lord seems (in His word) to feel the same way about us. There are countless times in scripture, starting in Genesis, where God says that we are made in His image and also that He wants us to be conformed to the image of His Son. As a Father, it seems that the Lord takes joy in people noticing that we are like Him. He loves us and is proud of us- especially when people look at us and see Him.

This was such an encouragement to Sonny and I. I hope to make the Father smile by constantly growing in His image.

Genesis 1:27
"So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

Moving dirt.... (and eating it)

Like I have said before, the Lord is continually teaching Sonny and I about Himself and us through our little boy. Today was not a life altering illustration but it sure was a nice reminder of why God calls us not to worry or be anxious....

Lately Asher has LOVED going for walks. There was one day last week where I think we went on 3 walks in one day. I am not complaining at all- I love them too! I love being outside, I love this nicer weather, and I LOVE that walking is supposed to bring on labor (though I still have a few more weeks of walking ahead of me before she comes).

We usually walk to a small park very close to our house then play for a few minutes before walking home. It is so fun to watch a 15 month old "play"- the things that intrigue him are so interesting to me. Well today Asher decided that he wanted to move dirt and wood chips from the playground area to the sidewalk that surround the playground. Not exaggerating- he spent about 15 minutes DILIGENTLY moving the dirt from one place to another. At first, this was not something that made me stop and think but then I felt like the Lord was trying to teach me something. Not that I want to ruin Asher's fun but from my perspective what he was doing would only last a short while before it would not matter how much diligence he had put into his task. I felt like God was trying to teach me His perspective on our lives. There really is no reason to get stressed or worried about things in this life. Like Ecclesiastes says, life is a vapor and it is all going to go away soon. I am not trying to be "Debbie Downer," I do believe that we are supposed to enjoy life- that is also what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 5:18,

"Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward."

How crazy would it have been from my point of view for Asher to get upset and angry that the dirt was not staying in place or that it was not exactly how he wanted it. I know that by the end of the day all of the dirt he moved will most likely be gone anyways. But Asher enjoyed what he was doing- even though it was only temporary. I really want to learn from this. I do not want to waste time getting upset when things do not go my way- I want to enjoy the life that the Lord has given me knowing that it is only for a short time.

On the flip side, we also need to remember that what really matters is not if things in this life go well. What matters is that we have a growing relationship with Christ and that we live for His kingdom and not this world. All else is just "dirt" and will soon be gone. I think we need to have a healthy balance between enjoying the things here but remembering that eternity is what we are really living for.

Enduring hardship for the glory of God...

I am reading through the book of John right now, and I feel like the Lord is reminding me of a season that He took us through. When reading about the blind man (John 9) and Lazarus (John 11), I am reminded of the difficult season that Sonny and I went through before Asher was born.

Anyone who knew me growing up knows that I love kids and always have. Even when I went to my brother's baseball games from about ages 8-15, I would always find the person with the baby and try to offer help with the little one. All through highschool when people would ask me what I wanted to be when I "grew up" I would simply say, "a wife and a mom."

When Sonny and I got married, we were 19 years old and he said that we were going to wait to have kids. I knew that I was called to honor him and I also knew that I did not want to pressure him into having kids- so I was going to wait until the Lord told Sonny it was time to have kids. I was sure that it would only take a year or two for Sonny to hear from the Lord about this but such was not the case! We were married almost 5 years before Sonny felt like it was time. That was such a hard waiting period for me but such a great season of growth in Sonny and I's marriage and in my relationship with the Lord. I learned to continually be submitting my life to Christ and to wait for His timing.

When we finally did start trying to have a baby, we got pregnant right away. I had just assumed that it would not take us a long time and I was right. Then something happened. When I was about 5 weeks pregnant, I lost the baby. It was horrible. Even though I was "barely pregnant," I had already given so much of my heart to this little baby growing inside me. I was devastated and so was Sonny. I had just assumed that my 5 years of waiting on the Lord would be rewarded by an instant pregnancy that would be easy and perfect. I really did not understand what the Lord was doing. Then, less than 2 months later, I got pregnant again. Surely this would be the one. The first pregnancy was just a test, right?- to see if I was still trusting the Lord. Then, 5 weeks into that pregnancy, I lost our second baby. This again was so tough for Sonny and I. From January until July of 2008, I had 5 miscarriages- losing all of the babies at around 5 weeks. I was heartbroken....

This brings me to John 9 and 11. When the disciples ask Jesus in John 9:2 , "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?" Jesus answers something remarkable "It was neither that this man sinner, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him." The same kind of statement is made of Lazarus in chapter 11:4 "But when Jesus heard this (Lazarus' death), He said 'This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of Man might be glorified by it.'"

Looking back, I can say with confidence that this was what the Lord was doing with us. That season of loss and heartache was not without a purpose. The Lord used that time for His glory in so many ways. That season drew Sonny and I so much closer together and drew us closer to the Lord. There were times when I was so spiritually and emotionally weak and Sonny was such a representation of Christ to me. He spoke truth to me and comforted me with the love of Christ. He represented Ephesians 5:25-26 to me in such a tangible and wonderful way. I also learned that I had some idolatry in my life. I had idolized the thought of being a mom and the Lord had to show me that I could not love anything, even my children, more than Him.

Finally, in September of 2008, we got pregnant again, but this time the doctors had found out that I had low progesterone that was causing me to miscarry. I got on progesterone and we had Asher 9 months later.

Even now I can still see how the Lord used our hard time for His glory. I have had a few friends that have been through miscarriages and it has been such a blessing to be able to comfort them as I was comforted during my time of hurting. I have been so grateful to be able to use our hard time to try and strengthen the body of Christ.

Sonny reminds me often of the full implications of Romans 8:28
"And we know that God causes ALL things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purposes."

Even our seasons of sorrow can be used for God's glory.